


A Not-So-Failed Confession

by haikyuutie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AsaNoya - Freeform, Asanoya - Main Pairing, Confessions, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Tutoring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27660389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikyuutie/pseuds/haikyuutie
Summary: As far as confessions go, Nishinoya Yuu supposed his could have gone worse. It also could have gone a lot better.Noya raked a hand through his hair. "When I look at you my heart beats real fast and my palms get sweaty and it feels like I'm havin' a heart attack!"Asahi's eyes bugged out. "I don't want to give you a heart attack!""I'm telling you it's a good kinda heart attack!""Please don't have a heart attack, Nishinoya."
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu
Comments: 14
Kudos: 197





	A Not-So-Failed Confession

Finally Ukai's whistle blew, terminating the match with shrill authority. Yuu almost collapsed in relief. He'd sustained a record number of bruises due to careless, bone-jarring saves. His saves had been dependable as always, but his movements had lacked their usual grace and fluidity. He hoped no one else had paid close enough attention to realize his mind had been occupied elsewhere.

"You all right?" Tanaka asked, jabbing him lightly in the side with his elbow. Yuu would have punched him in retaliation, but Tanaka had fetched his water bottle for him. 

"Thanks, Ryuu." 

"So?" Tanaka waggled his brows. "Is the plan still a go?" 

Yuu gulped down water to bide himself time. In truth, he was incredibly tempted to call it off, and he likely would have if he hadn't already confided in Tanaka. Then again, he would never be able to forgive himself for being a coward. How many times had he lectured Asahi-san on his cowardice and wimpiness? If Yuu backed out now, he'd be no better. Actually, he'd be worse, because then he'd be both a coward and a hypocrite.

"Yeah." Yuu took another swig of water. 

"Don't drink so much water all at once," Tanaka tutted. "You'll give yourself a stomach ache." 

"Thanks, _okaa-san_ ," Yuu replied sarcastically. Tanaka didn't need to fret. His stomach was already twisting in tight, queasy knots all on its own. 

"Enough of your attitude." Tanaka affected a stern, motherly voice. "Now, go get your man. I'm not getting any younger and I'm ready for grandchildren." 

"You're so fricken weird." 

Tanaka nudged him in the direction of Karasuno's third years. 

Suga-san was enacting an elaborate pantomime that had Daichi shaking his head and sighing. Asahi-san hung slightly back, busy readjusting his manbun. The muscles in his large, well-formed arms flexed as he fixed his hair tie. A drop of sweat meandered down his neck before disappearing under his cotton shirt. 

A flush stole over Yuu's cheeks that was entirely unrelated to the practice match they'd just finished. He wiped his hands on his shorts, but it seemed there was no end to the sweat accumulating on his palms. 

He took a quick, fortifying breath before shouting, "Asahi-san!" in a voice that was several octaves louder than he'd intended. Oh well. He'd never been known for having good volume control. Or an inside voice. 

Asahi flinched. His skittishness looked improper on someone of such large stature. He turned his head, gaze expectant and possibly a little wary. 

"Could I speak with you for a moment?" Yuu belatedly remembered to tack on a, "Please." 

Daichi and Suga shared a look that Yuu didn't know how to read. Before Asahi could answer, Suga cut in. "Take all the time you need. We won't wait up." He and Daichi left the gym without a backward glance. 

Yuu fiddled with the hem of his shirt. He had an entire speech prepared, but now his tongue felt bloated and clumsy. Despite the water he'd guzzled, his mouth was dry. 

"Is everything okay?" Asahi's tone was gentle, his brown eyes brimming with concern. He was so sweet, Yuu could practically melt just looking at him. 

"I wanted to ask you something." 

Asahi stayed silent, prompting him to continue. Ugh. This was so much harder to do in real life than in his fantasies. Whenever Yuu had imagined this conversation taking place, Asahi had been the shy, blushing one while he'd been confident and suave. In reality, they were both a flustered, sweaty mess. "I, uh, wanted to ask, that is..." _Will you go out with me, Asahi-san?_ The words were right there. They weren't even difficult to pronounce, and yet he couldn't seem to form them. "Shit. Sorry. This is harder than I thought it would be." 

"Don't apologize," Asahi said automatically. 

Right. Apologizing constantly was Asahi's shtick. Yuu sucked in another nervous breath. It felt like his heart was being repeatedly tossed and spiked into his ribcage, as if there was a miniature volleyball match occurring inside his chest. "Asahi-san will you—w-will you tutor me?" 

Asahi opened his mouth to reply, before pausing to comprehend Yuu's words. Yuu wondered if he imagined the flash of disappointment that crossed Asahi's face. "I'd be happy to." 

The smile Yuu plastered on his face was near painful. "Great!" 

"I'm surprised you'd ask me, though. I'm hardly the most studious member of the team." 

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Asahi-san." The admonishment slipped out unthinkingly. He was so used to chiding Asahi for his self-deprecating ways that it was almost second-nature to berate him now. Even though, come to think of it, he didn't actually know whether Asahi was studious or not. They'd never discussed or compared grades before, though he knew Asahi had never been in danger of failing, unlike Yuu or Ryuu. Or even Shoyou and Kageyama for that matter. 

"I'm only being honest," Asahi protested. "Daichi or Suga would probably do a better job tutoring you." 

That was a nice suggestion, but Yuu didn't particularly want to bone either of his other senpais. Even if Daichi had impressive thighs, and Suga was kind of cute with a deceptively angelic appearance. "I don't think they'd have the patience to put up with me. They're not as, er... indulgent as you are." 

Asahi chuckled, the sound deep and full. "I don't know about that. But if you'd really like me to tutor you, I'll try my best." 

"Great! That would be... great," he finished lamely. Ugh, what was wrong with him? He was usually so much cooler than this. 

"Is there a certain time that works for you?" 

"Anytime," Yuu blurted, before internally wincing. That didn't sound desperate at all. 

Asahi was too polite to appear fazed by his over eagerness. "Would Thursday after practice work?" 

Yuu voiced his agreement. 

"Did you want to go to my house or yours?" 

Yuu's brain was in danger of short-circuiting. Asahi. In his house. Hell, probably in his bedroom. He already thought about Asahi an embarrassing amount of time while in his bedroom. If Asahi actually entered his room, Yuu was quite certain he'd never be able to think of anything else. "Could we go to yours?" 

The thought of seeing Asahi's house fascinated him. Was his house clean or messy? Small or large? Would it be old-fashioned or modern? Would it contain childhood photos of Asahi? He couldn't picture Asahi ever being small, but he was suddenly desperate to know. 

"Sure. We can do that." 

Shit, was he being rude again? "Only if it's not an imposition!" 

"It's fine, Nishinoya." 

"Great." He beamed, his cheeks aching from how wide his grin was. 

"I'll see you Thursday then." Asahi caught himself. "Well, actually I'll see you before then. Since we have practice tomorrow." 

"See you later, Asahi-san!" "Bye, Nishinoya." 

Yuu watched Asahi depart. He wasn't sure whether to feel pleased that he was seeing Asahi outside of club hours, or despair that he'd botched his attempt at confessing his feelings. Why did these things have to be so hard? And why was he being such a coward? He'd overcome so many of his childhood fears. There was no good reason for why confessing to Asahi terrified him. It must have been Asahi's own cowardice rubbing off on him. 

Sighing, Yuu trudged in the direction of the train station. As soon as he'd passed the chain link fence enclosing the school yard, Tanaka pounced on him. "How'd it go? When's the wedding? Should I be calling you Azumane Yuu from now on?" 

"I'm a moron!" Yuu wailed, burying his face in his hands.

"Well, yeah, even I coulda told you that." 

"Why am I like this?" 

"Come on, I'll buy you Garigari-kun and you can tell me all about it."

"Only if it's the soda flavour." 

* * *

Tanaka had predictably found Yuu's predicament hilarious. His raucous laughter had almost gotten them kicked out of the convenience store. Hours later, Yuu still hadn't entirely forgiven him. He lounged on the couch, flipping through channels until he found a movie that had suitable over the top action and violence to distract himself. 

His phone buzzed a couple minutes into the movie. **It's not like ur a total failure. You managed to score one on one time with ur senpai.**

Yuu glared at Tanaka's text. He drafted a reply, but Tanaka fired off another text before he could. 

**Although revealing how hopeless you are academically may not make the best impression**

**like ur one to talk ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐** , he shot back. 

**Maybe you can put the moves on him while you study together.**

That was the goal, but Yuu wasn't sure he'd be able to follow through. The advice his grandfather had given him as a child clamoured in his mind. _'Behind every fear is a wasted opportunity.'_ He didn't want to chicken out, but the thought of rejection made him want to hurl. Asahi would at least be nice about rejecting him, he was sure. He'd probably wince and apologize and let him down gently, but that would almost be worse. 

Yuu wasn't a stranger to rejection. Kiyoko-san rejected him on a near daily basis, but his heart hadn't been set on her the way it was set on Asahi. In fact, her rejections had almost been a point of pride to him. At least he could say to his classmates, "See that dark-haired goddess over there? The one with the sexy beauty mark? She slapped me in the face and rejected me" and they would all groan about how envious they were and how lucky Yuu was to have been noticed by her for even a moment. 

Bragging about Asahi rejecting him would just make him sound and feel pathetic. Yuu groaned into his hands. Thursday couldn't come soon enough. He also wished it would never arrive. 

* * *

If Yuu had been distracted during practice earlier that week, it was nowhere near as bad as he was on Thursday's practice. He flubbed a receive from Tsukishima. And it hadn't even been an especially impressive spike. Worst of all, he had to deal with his smarmy bespectacled face. _Tsukishima you bastard._

Just when Yuu thought he was going to snap from the tension, he felt a large hand alight on his shoulder. 

"Hey." Asahi sounded almost nervous. His tentative voice somehow set Yuu at ease. 

"Hey," he echoed, a grin splitting his face. 

"Are we still on for today?" 

Why did Asahi have to be so devastatingly sweet and handsome? How was Yuu meant to function? "You bet!" 

Once practice was done, they put away the nets and showered. Yuu used the sweet-smelling sakura and freesia soap he'd stolen from his mom's bathroom. He wanted to make sure he smelled good. Hopefully Asahi would be too distracted by his scent to realize how hopeless he was academically. 

Once Yuu finished showering, he threw on his school uniform and left the gym. Asahi was waiting for him outside, his hands in his pockets and his posture casual. Yuu wished they were meeting up under different circumstances. 

"Asahi-san!" he called to announce his presence. When he stepped forward, he caught a whiff of a fresh, smoky fragrance. "Oh! Asahi-san, you smell good!" he blurted. 

"Ah, you sound surprised." 

Oh. Shit. "I-I didn't mean to imply you don't usually smell good—"

"It's okay," Asahi laughed. "I know I don't. We're usually only around each other when we're all sweaty." 

Yuu's mind spiraled into thoughts of getting sweaty with Asahi under different conditions. "Hah. Right. What scent is it?" 

"Hinoki cypress." 

Asahi smelled masculine. Yuu suddenly felt silly for using such a feminine scent. 

"You smell good too," Asahi offered. 

"Really?" 

"Of course." 

Yuu believed him. Asahi was incapable of lying, even about trivial matters. He smiled inwardly. His mom probably wouldn't be getting her soap back. 

They made intermittent conversation while they walked to the railway station. It was about a half hour train ride to reach the district Asahi lived in. 

"Are we almost there?" Yuu asked. 

"Getting there." Asahi smiled at his impatience. "It's at the top of that hill." 

"You have to climb that hill everyday?" 

"Yep."

No wonder he had such great legs. After they crested the hill, Asahi led them to a wooden house that looked old save for some modern repairs. It had a traditional wooden _engawa_ porch. Unlike Yuu's house, the Azumane residence had a generous lawn and ample space between it and their neighbour's house. Modern houses were almost always built right against the street, without any lawn. Land was expensive in Japan. It was one benefit of older properties, he decided. 

Asahi opened the door for him, ushering him inside. Yuu tried not to flush at the courteous gesture. Asahi was too sweet to be real.

"Please excuse me for my disturbance!" Yuu called out, toeing off his shoes. 

Asahi smiled down at him. "It's all right. My mom's visiting a friend and my dad's at business conference in Kyoto. We have the place to ourselves." 

Yuu drew up short, struck by a wayward thought. "Asahi-san, do you have any siblings?" It seemed imperative that he know. 

"Yes. Two older brothers. They've both moved out though." 

"So you're the baby of the family?" The thought made Yuu want to laugh. He couldn't imagine Asahi being the baby of anything. "Are your brothers bigger than you?" 

"My eldest brother is the shortest. He was furious when I had my growth spurt." 

Yuu returned Asahi's grin. "I can understand how he feels. My sister's almost as tall as I am and she's in middle school." 

"Ah, well. I suppose you could always wear high heels?" 

Yuu's grin turned wicked. "Asahi-san, is this your way of saying you want to see me in heels?" 

"What? No. I only meant, if you wanted to wear them..." 

Yuu threw his head back and laughed. Asahi was so easy to tease and he flushed beautifully. 

Asahi shook his head at Yuu's antics. "Come on. I'll get us a snack and then we can study?" 

"That sounds good." Yuu's stomach twisted in anticipation. "Oh! I also brought _Umaibo!_ Did you want one?" Yuu offered one of the savoury corn puffs. "It's Takoyaki flavoured." 

"That's very thoughtful of you, Nishinoya." 

Heat crawled up the back of his neck. "It's nothing." 

"You're the guest. You didn't have to."

"It's not a big deal. Plus, I'm the one imposing." 

"You're not imposing," Asahi countered. 

Even if he was imposing, Asahi would be too polite to ever admit it. Yuu munched on his Umaibo while he watched Asahi fix them tea. He offered to cook them something to eat as well, but Yuu talked him out of it. He'd feel guilty making Asahi go to the trouble. Instead Asahi grabbed them each an _anpan_ : a sweet-roll filled with red bean paste. 

"Are you fine with studying in my room?" Asahi asked.

'Fine' was an understatement. Yuu nodded enthusiastically and trailed behind Asahi like an overeager puppy. Asahi's room was partitioned off by a traditional four panel shoji screen. Yuu surveyed the room, taking in the neatly made bed and the spotless floor. "It's so clean!" And a drastic contrast to his own room which was littered with manga and dirty laundry.

"I cleaned it last night."

"I hope you didn't clean it for my sake." 

Asahi rubbed the back of his neck. "I wanted to leave a good impression." 

Yuu's lips tipped up. "But I already know you. You've left many good impressions, Asahi-san." 

"Oh. I'm glad." Yuu assessed Asahi's bookshelf. He recognized several volumes of shoujo manga. He was about to tease Asahi for them, when he noticed a collection of framed photos on Asahi's dresser. There was a group photo of the team after beating Shiratorizawa. And beside it— 

"Asahi-san you're shirtless!" At this point, his mouth wasn't even attached to his brain. Asahi's pecs and abs were golden in the sunlight. The sight of him semi-nude had fried what remained of Yuu's brain. 

Asahi leaned in. "That was taken at Nobiru Beach last summer." 

Yuu realized it was probably inappropriate to ask if he could have a copy of the photo. 

He tore his eyes from the tantalizing picture and glanced at the other frame on Asahi's dresser. Asahi had his arm around a girl. No, a _woman_. Yuu's stomach did an unpleasant flip. "Who's this?" He tried to feign a nonchalant tone, but the waver in his voice betrayed him. They looked close. And for her to occupy a spot on Asahi's dresser... 

"That's Ichika."

"Your girlfriend?" 

Asahi laughed. "My cousin," he corrected. 

Yuu's shoulders sagged in relief. He quickly composed himself. "She's really pretty." 

Instead of agreeing, a frown appeared between Asahi's brow. "Prettier than Shimizu?" 

Yuu blinked. "What does Kiyoko-san have to do with anything? You don't think... I don't have the hots for your cousin, Asahi-san!" 

Asahi turned away. "Which subjects do you need help with?" 

Yuu felt wrong-footed from the abrupt shift in topic. The atmosphere between them had changed, and it was clear he'd misstepped, but he wasn't sure what he'd done to cause offense. It was polite to compliment one's family, wasn't it? In any case, wouldn't it be ruder to call her ugly?

"Um," he dithered. "All of them?" 

Asahi took this information in stride. "Is there a particular class you wanted to focus on first?" 

"Well, contemporary literature is easily my worst subject. But maybe we could start with spelling?" Also not a strength of his.

"Sure." 

Yuu removed his school books from his bag and set up beside Asahi. Yuu placed his phone on the far corner of Asahi's desk, where he wouldn't be tempted to text Ryuu for constant support. When Asahi reached for a pencil, his hand brushed against Yuu's arm, igniting a fizzing spark of warmth that spread through his entire body.

Yuu inhaled deeply, filling his nose with the smoky wood scent of Asahi. Asahi asked what areas Yuu was having difficulty in and they discussed different approaches. As their study session went on, it became clear that Asahi was an incredibly patient teacher. He never lost his temper, even when Yuu asked him to repeat himself for the third time because he was too busy staring at his lips to focus on the words coming out of them. 

Yuu forced himself to focus less on Asahi's broad shoulders and broad hands, and on the homework splayed across his lap. 

"Here's a trick I use for conjugation." Asahi scratched a few notes on Yuu's paper.

“Asahi-san, I had no idea you were so smart!” 

Asahi ducked his head in embarrassment. “I’m really not. That’s why I’m surprised you asked me to tutor you.”

“But you _are_ smart!” 

“My grades aren’t anything special.” 

“How come?”

“Ah, well.” Asahi scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t test very well. I always get nervous and second guess myself. It seems like no matter how hard I study, my mind just goes blank during exams and essays.” 

A strand of hair escaped Asahi's bun. Yuu battled the urge to reach out and touch, to brush the strand from his face. The space between them felt clouded with potential. "Why don't you try meditating during the exam?" 

"Well, they're timed exams. I'm not sure I'd have time to meditate during them?" 

"Oh. Right. Why not right before?" 

"Oh. I don't know. I suppose I never thought of it. I usually cram in last minute studying." 

"But doesn't that just stress you out even more?" 

"Yes?" 

"Then why do you do it?" 

"I don't. Know." 

Yuu smiled at him. Asahi's mouth was soft and expressive. He wanted to kiss him. He really _really_ wanted to kiss him. His heartbeat felt wonky and off-kilter. It would be so easy to lean in and tilt his head and mold his mouth to Asahi's. It would be easy. But it might ruin everything. 

Asahi noticed Yuu's stare. "Are you all right, Nishinoya?" 

"Washroom!" he blurted. "I need to use the washroom." He could use a timeout from their study session to reign in his wild, disobedient thoughts. 

"It's down the hall and on your left. I can show you, if you'd like." 

"I'll find it! I'm not that hopeless, I swear." 

"Oh. Okay." Asahi was frowning. 

Yuu made a speedy escape, nearly toppling his chair in his haste. 

"You have a text from Tanaka," Asahi made to hand Yuu his phone, but his eyes flickered at the screen. Whatever he read made him falter. "Um." 

"What? What did Ryuu say?" Yuu grabbed the phone and scanned the message. Oh. He was absolutely going to kill Tanaka. 

**have u put the moves on asahi yet? or confessed ur dying love?**

"It's just a joke, right?" Asahi asked quietly. 

"Of course!" Yuu answered without missing a beat. He tried to gauge Asahi's expression, but his upperclassmen ducked his head, averting his gaze. Was it wishful thinking, or did Asahi actually look disappointed? Yuu hated this feeling, this knowledge that he was letting his fear conquer. "But what if it wasn't a joke?"

Asahi's head whipped up. "If it wasn't a joke," he began cautiously, "that would be fine." 

"Just fine?" Yuu asked, just as guarded. 

"Better than fine." 

Yuu stood up. This seemed to momentous a conversation to have while sitting. He also liked the added height advantage it gave him to stand while Asahi sat. "Asahi-san, I didn't want you to tutor me!" he declared. 

"Oh. I'm sorry." 

"When I cornered you after practice, I meant to ask you something else." He sucked in a fortifying breath. "Asahi-san, I like you! Please go out with me!" 

Asahi's jaw seemed to have come loose from its hinge. "You like me?" 

"Would you like me to repeat my confession?" Yuu wasn't even being sarcastic. If Asahi requested, he would say it all again. 

"I don't understand. If you wanted to confess to me, why did you ask me to tutor you?" 

Yuu hesitated. His voice lost some of its confidence. "I was afraid." 

"I've never known you to be afraid of anything." 

Yuu didn't mention his childhood fear of birds, bugs, tricycles, ghosts, et cetera. Instead he said, "I guess I'm only scared of you, Asahi-san." 

Asahi spluttered. "I don't want you to be scared of me." 

"What if it's a good kind of fear?" 

The indent between Asahi's brows deepened. "What kind of fear is good?" 

"You know that swoop in your stomach when you're about to go down a really high drop on a roller coaster?" 

"No," Asahi admitted. "I'm terrified of roller coasters." 

"Well, what about the excitement when you watch a scary movie?" 

"I hate scary movies." 

"Dammit, Asahi-san! You're ruining my comparisons." He raked a hand through his hair. "I'm saying that you terrify me in a good way. When I look at you my heart beats real fast and my palms get sweaty and it feels like I'm havin' a heart attack!" 

Asahi's eyes bugged out. "I don't want to give you a heart attack!" 

"I'm telling you it's a good kinda heart attack!" 

"Please don't have a heart attack, Nishinoya." 

"That depends on you." 

"M-me?" 

"You kind of left me hanging without a response to my feelings." It was pretty inconsiderate, actually. 

"Oh!" Asahi straightened. Then made the decision to mirror Yuu's actions. He rose from his chair. "I like you too. I like you a lot. I would love to go out with you." 

The words had barely left Asahi's mouth when Yuu leaped at him, slotting their mouths together. Asahi's arms instinctively wrapped around him, supporting his weight. Yuu curled his fingers around Asahi's biceps, finally getting to feel the powerful arms he'd admired from afar. 

Yuu kissed passionately, but without finesse. Luckily, Asahi didn't seem inclined to complain about his lack of technique. In comparison, Asahi was a gentle kisser. He was entirely too cute for someone over six feet tall. 

"Mm." Yuu hummed into the kiss before pulling back. Asahi tightened his grip on Yuu's waist. Yuu felt so small pressed up against Asahi. Normally the reminder of how small he was vexed him, but he felt safe and secure. He knew Asahi would never mock his height or make him feel inferior. 

Yuu tilted his chin up. Asahi's hair was a disheveled mess, his pupils were dilated, and his lips were slightly parted. "You're so hot Asahi-san, I can hardly stand it." 

"Me too. I mean, you too. I meant, I feel the same about you. You're really... you're. Hot." 

Yuu's cheeks hurt from the force of his grin. "Kiss me again, Asahi-san." 

Asahi obeyed, leaning down to press their mouths together. 

* * *

"I guess this is the end of our tutoring sessions," Asahi commented later, after a very long and very thorough make-out session.

Yuu fiddled with the hem of Asahi's shirt. "It doesn't have to be." 

Asahi raised his brow, prompting him to elaborate. 

"I meant what I said. You really are a good tutor, Asahi-san. If it wouldn't be a problem, maybe we could still study together? I could show you a meditation technique I use for focusing when I'm on the court. And you could help me with... all of my classes." In hindsight, Asahi really wasn't getting the better part of the deal. "I can also supply us with snacks!" 

Asahi smiled sweetly. "I'd like that. Do you still want to go out sometime?" 

"Of course!" Yuu exclaimed. "We'll go on many dates! When we're not studying, we'll go on all the dates!" 

After departing from Asahi's house, Yuu checked his phone to see several new texts from Tanaka. **come on man, there's nothing good on TV**  
**did u tell him or nah??**  
**I need details, Noya.**

Yuu smiled down at his phone. **My boyfriend and I will give you the details tomorrow.**

Tanaka's reply seemed to arrive in under a second. **BOYFRIEND?!!!**

**Yep** , Yuu replied. **I'm kind of an expert at love confessions.**

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts.  
> You can find me on tumblr @rolling-thunder


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